Thursday, February 20, 2014

Reflecting on 10 Years

Today is our 10th year anniversary! I can't believe it's been ten whole years it feels like yesterday we just got married and yet I can't remember my life without him. It's strange how time feels so out of whack and makes you really believe that this time on earth really will be but a second in the whole grand plan of our lives.

I have to confess something. As a youth I never could picture myself married having kids. I was never the dating type I didn't really like going on dates and anything romantic made me giggle. I never really kissed anyone about until my senior year of high school, I was quite prudish. I just wanted to do my own thing and have fun and boys seemed to mess things up.

I was almost forced into meeting Robb and boy am I glad I was. Funny enough both the people that made this happen are now my sisters. Thanks Suzie and Julie I kinda owe you my happiness. When I met Robb it just felt normal. No big fireworks, or warm squishy feeling, no feeling of "wow, he's the one". Strangely I don't believe there is just one person out there. That being said, boy am I glad I married this man.

He has made me laugh every day. His impressions, accents, and plain craziness has made me smile from the moment I met him. One would think that I might not think him so funny after 10 years but it's the complete opposite. I might have some twisted humor that is him but I still laugh at his jokes. My favorite is how when impersonating my dad he sounds strangely just like Jimmy Stewart.

Our 1st year of marriage we played and went to school. Just like every newly married young couple with no clue as to what they just got themselves into. It was not until our second year that we made the brave move to join the Air Force. I say WE 'cause lets face it, he might be doing the job but I'm the one moving my kids from place to place. We made the decision together. Doesn't he look so cute all dressed up?
While in basic training and tech-school Robb got lots of baby-belly shots until our first little love came 2 months before our 2 year anniversary. Eli was like my little doll. Robb and I would play with him for hours. We would watch him instead of TV and found the joy in little baby noises we found cuter than anything in the world. I think every new parent thinks their baby is the most perfect thing in the whole world, as they should!
A Move to Alaska and almost 2 years later we had this chunky baby who stole our hearts with his round body and dimpled cheeks. Hudson was our over cooked cuddle monster who to this day loves a good cuddle in your arms.

We loved Alaska and celebrated 3 anniversaries there. None of which we really went anywhere but babies to bed, dinner and a movie. This is not a complaint I enjoyed each one!

2 more moves and 2 more babies.

Maggie our sweet little girl came when we lived in New Mexico. Again she was the prettiest little girl I've ever seen and somehow my love spread to yet another child.

Betsy is our California girl. She is the sweetest baby/toddler I've ever had. All my kids have been the best babies but I think Betsy has stolen the cake. She cracks me up with her calm, sweet manner of doing things.

We considered our family complete and couldn't have asked for more... little did we know.

I think about the 10 years Robb and I have been married, the places we've lived, the friends we've made, and the things we've been able to do. I couldn't have asked for a better life. 

I remember our 1st year anniversary. We went to a place close to Park City for the weekend. It was fun but I have to say I cherish the little moments that my husband walks into the room and kisses me before anything else. How he will hear a song on the radio and think it's an impromptu dance moment and twirls me a round the kitchen with kids peeking around the corner watching us. I love when he knows that a Dr Pepper will bring a smile to my face or Root beer when I'm knocked up. He knows when to hold me when I'm lost and to give advice when I need it. He listens to me and never lets me fume. He makes me talk about everything and won't let me rest until I tell him whats wrong. He lets me complain to him about everything and is the one I go to when I need to be held. I love to watch him with our kids. I've never had any doubt about leaving our kids with him for days while I go do whatever I want. He is a great loving, caring, playful dad. He takes care of the gross things like cleaning the garbage disposal, unclogging toilets, and taking out the garbage. Never have I had to tell him to stop watching the game and pay attention the the family. He is always present. 

Like I said I don't think there is just one person for you. I think that I could have married someone else if I had made different choices and Robb had made different choices. But we made the decisions we did and ended up meeting each other falling madly in love and somehow I still keep falling.

 I love you Robb more today than I did 10 years ago. I ask you all the time if you'll marry me cause I don't know really what comes next after marriage and kids. I am giddy about the next 10 years and honestly I can't wait until the military doesn't interfere with our anniversary! I don't think since our first year have we ever celebrated until the following weekend. Haha, That will be the day! I'm not sure what the future holds...well we do know it holds another baby girl due the end of June. Here we go again :)

Robb would say "10 years, wow. Time for an upgrade." I think he's stuck and there's no getting out of it. I warned him that this marriage was FOREVER and gave him an out. He's the one that didn't take it. 

Saturday, February 1, 2014

Wheat? Gluten?

When I was about 13 I broke out in this crazy rash on my face. It was red, itch and puffy. I remember a teenage boy ask me in the tactful way they talk to teenage girls, "Do your parents beat you?" What is comical now was horrifying to the 13 year old me. I went to see many different doctors to figure this out. I had what felt like 100 little pricks on my back to see if I had an allergy to something. Low and behold every single on of those little pricks came back negative. If my not allergic to anything than whats going on with my face?! I had grown up with the annoying eczema that is so common now a days, that the doctors just said it was that. My wonderful mother wasn't satisfied with that answer and continued to take me to see different specialist.

Then we went to what we know her as, the Witch Dr. I'm not sure her title or really how to explain what she does. Her name is Julie and she had a little office down in Provo, UT. She would have me hold a copper rod that was connected to a machine and test different points on my fingers to see what was inflamed in my body. She found I had an intolerance to gluten and wheat. It was affecting my digestive tract along with the lining on my stomach and many other things I cant remember. I took many pills and little drops of...stuff under my tongue. I also had to go off every wheat infested food. It was hard and there went any amazing blogs about gluten or any food substitutes for food made form wheat. In a little over a year I was better. She said to eat wheat with caution but it's okay to have every once in a while.

Just last year I started getting a rash on my eye lids and thought how strange. Over the course of a year it has spread to my whole body. Like my whole skin was on attack from an angry monster inside of me. At this point I knew what it was but thought I need to see someone about this. I saw doctors and haven't quite finished the whole process of the dermatologist biopsy cause I think its stupid the waste their time and mine when I know what it is.

I have had to go off all things wheat and would have a huge reaction if I even think about noodles or bread. How helpful now that so many people have this fascination with gluten free. I hate and love that there are so many different recipes out there that are gluten free now. I get all railed up when I find out someone is gluten free cause it's healthier. If I didn't have to be gluten free I wouldn't no ifs and or buts about it. I hate gluten free bread, noodle, and all the "healthier" stuff you can buy at the store. Oh how I miss you pot stickers, fried chicken, fish sticks, hamburger, hot dog, bagel, cake, donut, cookies, pizza, flour tortilla, cinnamon buns, pasta and every kind of bread you can think of. Not to mention I got really good at making my own bread. Yes, I'm just complaining . But who in their right mind would go gluten free unless they had to? Crazy people that's who.

This is a really bad picture upside down picture of my back and side, after eating something I thought didn't have any gluten in it. It looks worse in person. A picture doesn't paint a thousand word.

I did find one amazing thing that I love. My wonderful hubby took some of my old prego coca butter I had left over and mixed in some raw coconut oil. I was having one of my rash melt downs where my back was a bit bloody from all the scratching and all the creams I was prescribed did nothing. He rubbed it all over my rashy spots. It didn't make the itch go away but what it did do was soak into my skin and make me not feel like a giant alligator. My skin was like sand paper and about a half hour of this cream on my skin it was soft and felt like normal skin. I LOVE this stuff.

I have been off gluten since Halloween and my rash shows it self sometimes when I am not super careful and think that eating out is a good idea. This is a topic for another blog but I am having some mad cravings for Chinese food. I am pregnant with baby number 5. All I want for lunch and dinner is Asian food. I love Pad Thai noodles, mushroom chicken from panda and will take anything that is saucy and over rice. If you don't know most soy sauce as gluten in it, don't ask me why. I did have to buy myself some without gluten in it so I can make my own but really that's the joy of Asian food. I Don't Have To Make It. Some all you can eat buffet will do it for me. Wow if we didn't have Panda Express last night I might make Robb go get me some. haha I'm usually not this obsessed with food.

I have found some amazing recipes that are gluten free. Pizza Crust, zucchini noodles, and even some super yummy cookies. I again love how faddish gluten free is right now. Just don't tell me you're gluten free cause its better for you. If they could feel an immense rash all over their body with an itch where you cant scratch enough to relieve the itch but you stop cause you're pretty sure that you've broken the skin and now have little scabs all over your body, then just then they might really know what going off gluten really is. At lease I don't have celiac disease. 

Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Dave Ramsey

Slowly but surely I think I have finally finished Christmas shopping for everyone. I don't know about anyone else but I love to buy my kids things. I scrimp and save all year long, when Christmas time rolls around it feels so good to buy them the things they want. Now I'm not crazy and buy them EVERYTHING they ask for. It has to be reasonable and something I want them to have. Paying for Christmas has always been so stressful but this year I've paid for each present with cold hard cash.

It is so exhilarating to go to the store with my envelope labeled CHRISTMAS bulging, well sort of. I pick out the gifts I think my kids deserve, cause that's just good parenting. I take my cart of toys that hopefully will last a couple of months before going into the trash, to the check out. I wait for the total, knowing what its going to be before hand, and all the time knowing, I have the money for this. It is the best stress free Christmas shopping I've ever had.

We've been doing Dave Ramsey's envelope system for about a year and a half. Last Christmas it was stressful and I felt like our kids would get nothing with our sorry envelope we had saved in only 4 months. It was tight but the kids didn't know a difference. This year we don't have oodles of money but we have enough. I'm not big on spending thousands of dollars cause that's not what Christmas is about. We are taking some of our Christmas money combine with our vacation money for our trip home to Utah for Christmas. It's been about 6 years since we've been home for Christmas. I've made the decision to only bring the 2 Santa gifts and stocking fillers to Utah and leave everything else at home. We are making our kids gifts from us when we get home.

While in Utah we are going to baptize Eli with his cousin Carlyle hence our reason for our trip. I really don't know how we would be paying for this whole extravaganza if it weren't for all the envelope stuffing each and every month. It was so hard at times when I wanted that extra cash for something else but we just kept doing it and now after a year it finally is paying off. Isn't that the way of most things. Its hard in the very moment but later you realized how worth your hard work was. I know there has to be some great talk out there about this. Someone else can find it. We might have eaten PBJ and had pancakes for dinner one to many times this year but really the kids just thought I was awesome. Which is a huge bonus in the mom department.

This month I had a huge trial. I was offered 4 free tickets last week to Disneyland that expired in 2 days. I almost peed my pants I felt so happy. I knew there would be no way we would be able to take our 4 kids plus us to Disneyland it would be over a thousand dollars for just tickets. I was going to leave Robb and take the 3 older kids and just go. I had it all figured out. I just need to talk to my accountability partner. He asked the hard questions like "what about food?" "what about souvenirs?" "what about gas?" My heart dropped and I felt like crying. I knew he was right, it was lingering in the back of my mind I just didn't want to face it.To say living here in California where 90% of the people on base are officers and make 2 to 3 time more than we do. I hate to hear of their season passes to Disneyland and trips to Magic Mountain, Sea World, and really anywhere. Having someone offer FREE tickets for something I dream about taking my kids to was a painful blessing. Yes I could have put it on a credit card or used money from another envelope or even asked family for some money. This was my test to see if we could really do it. I curse and thank Dave Ramsey for his brainwashing of my husband. I said no to the tickets and then cried a little and after I felt warm and fuzzy maybe from crying or knowing I did the right thing. I felt a weight lifted from my shoulders that I didn't know was there. It still makes me a little sad but mostly I have a feeling of gratitude.  I feel the blessings of paying your tithing, paying your debtors and then paying yourself. I have learned to tell my money what to do and how it can work for me, rather than throwing it away to the wind. Is it hard, yes. Yet it's something I have grown to love. I don't even know how we could live here with out doing the evnelope system. It is really expensive to live here and will do a little dance when we finally get to move. California has taught me to budget our money which we have never had to do. I will never thank California for this lesson but I'm just glad it was learned.

I hope everyone has a wonderful Christmas filled with lots of family and love. Merry Christmas!

Tuesday, November 12, 2013

Small and Simple Things

Have you ever thought that you and Heavenly Father are finally on the same page and then you get thrown something that you thought, "wait a minute, I thought we had an understanding here." To say that California has been a wonderful place to live is extremely false. Now to be fair it hasn't all been bad. We have has a ton of fun going places we would never have gone and doing things that friends have invited us to do. I have loved every adventure and outing that has come our way. Its the everyday small things that are getting to be a struggle. 

The laundry has become a monster I seem to tackle and than the next day its back in full force. The floor is always cluttered with kid paraphernalia and the beds seem to unmake themselves. Not to mention the different smells of each room, reminding me what needs to be done. Robb constantly saying "something smells in the fridge." That's when I feel like saying "well... clean it." But I don't and I say "really I don't smell a thing." In the sweet manner in which I live my life, yet putting it on my never ending todo list. 

Being in primary now since we moved here over 2 years ago, I need some enlightenment into how to tackle these little yet enormous things that consume my life. Sacrament is a bust. I combat Betsy who has figured out her dad sits on the stand and is constantly fighting to get out of the pew and see her dad. So We fight until sacrament is over and then I let her go. She walks from me to Robb to the piano and all around the stand then back to me. I look over at the mom who has 4 kids like me and her husband is deployed and her kids are sitting sweetly coloring. Those are time when I think, Okay so whats she doing I'm not?
I love primary and being with the kids. I love to teach primary and be goofy and sing songs. A couple of weeks ago I even cried during a sunbeams talks that he had memorized. Sadly that's how starved I am for some spiritual enlightenment. 

I went to a doctors appointment yesterday for a rash that has slowly taken over my whole body. Driving 45 minutes to wait 30 minutes for a 10 minute appointment and then just get some cream because the don't know, is a bit frustrating. I made the mistake of taking my prescription to Walmart while in town and had to wait an hour to fill the prescription. 

I sat in Walmart people watching and contemplating how Heavenly Father and I fell off the same path on the way I saw my life going. Aren't I suppose to be the mom who has FHE all put together every Monday with cute pinterest activities each time? (Pinterest makes me feel like a bad mom) I should have my house sparkling each morning and be able to sew anything I want and have plenty of time to play with the kids doing crafts and bike rides all while having dinner cooking on the stove. Where did the little things creep up to become the big things? I love to people watch and saw many young families with just one or two kids and thought wow. I remember when I thought how having two was so hard and now we have 4! I wouldn't trade one of my kids, I love them more than I thought I ever could. They are my a part of my heart and will be forever and ever. 

Taking this time to myself I wanted to read something so I opened the conference talks and read. I got to a talk called "Small and Simple Things," by Arnolfo Valenzuela. He talks of the scripture in Alma as hes telling his son Helaman to keep a record. 

“Now ye may suppose that this is foolishness in me; but behold I say unto you, that by small and simple things are great things brought to pass; and small means in many instances doth confound the wise.

“And the Lord God doth work by means to bring about his great and eternal purposes; and by very small means the Lord doth confound the wise and bringeth about the salvation of many souls” (Alma 37:6–7).
I'm almost 100% Alam wasn't thinking about my messy house when he said this to his son but I will take it! So this morning when I woke up. I will make the beds that will be unmade this afternoon, pick up the toys just ONCE! Continue to tackle my laundry and even clean the refrigerator for a special someone. I will take the kids on a walk to the park after school just for fun. And when dinner time comes around I will put together something and when they all say " I don't like this " I will say "I'm sorry what would you like me to make tomorrow?" 
I really don't know where I'm going with this but I took from this scripture, that I need to do these little things that how ever foolish they may seem. They are what keep my house feeling like a home. It's not my favorite things to do but honestly who loves laundry, dishes, cleaning house and everything being a stay at home mom does? Its not glamorous but today I have a renewed sense of life. Maybe Heavenly Father and I are on the same page I just get a little lost now and then. I am grateful for the resources I have to able to find inspiration in a non inspirational place.  

(note to self, take more picture. this is the only one I could find with all the kids together)

Friday, June 28, 2013

Maggie Favorite

I was thinking back on the fun things we've already done this year and this is one of my favorites. Murray Family Farms. We took the opportunity to go to a U-pick it farm in Baker, CA when we had family in town.  Loved every single minute of it. I dream about owning a farm like this one. 
They had this super amazing bouncing pillow the kids... and adults, could jump on. So much fun!  Love this little girl running, bouncing to her dad.

We had a personal tracker tour of the farm and they told us all the many yummy things they grow. Mostly fruit and almost no veggies. If I recall the sweet peas were the only thing they had and they were in bloom when we were there. Smelled amazing and looked even more beautiful. Forgot to take a picture, oops.

Our reason for coming were these wonderful drops of sweet goodness.
 Rows and rows of strawberries. They consist of 50 % of Maggie's diet. She loves them and will eat a pound or more in one sitting. I know cause I bought some in a pound container and found them completely gone with little green leafs all over the floor. She LOVES them.

 Needless to say she was in heaven I think she ate as many as she picked. That goes for my father in law as well... actually I really think he just ate them as he picked them.

Betsy slept through the whole thing.

By the end we were all hot and ready to be done. We might have over picked a little.

I need to remember to take off those glasses. Thanks MayMay for the sunglasses you left in my car, Loves.

 After picking berries we stopped off at the butterfly house where there were a bunch of monarch butterflies newly hatched flying around.  Then we went to the ant farm playground. It had this pit of corn which was actually really cozy and relaxing. Love my mother in law and how she gets down and dirty with my kids.
 If that wasn't enough we then went to the petting zoo they have. You can pet these really ugly goats and try your hardest to pet the sheep who wouldn't let you get near them. Maggie kept saying "I pet you sheep" as they ran from her.

 My kids loved to roaster the best or was it a chicken, hmmm. Well they liked the poultry the most.
 After we paid and were ready to leave the owner came out and talked to us. Gave my kids some bubbles and goodies that made Hudson and Maggie super happy.
I love when people come to visit. It makes us take time to enjoy where we live. California hasn't been my favorite place to live but there are some fun things, if we take the time to get out and do them. I didn't even mention one of my favorite things. While we were there they had a banjo band playing for some party but it just completed the experience. Forgot to take a picture, oops again.

That night we went home, Renon and I made strawberry freezer jam and then froze a bunch for summer smoothies. The next night we had strawberries short cake and ate strawberries for every meal. It made for one happy 2 year old.

We've done lots since then. Beach, Sea World, Beach, Zoo, Beach, Beach and More Beach. The fun part is we go to a different one each time so it's always fun and new. 

Friday, May 31, 2013


In our home summer has finally come! I love having all my kids at home playing together. They have such a crazy loving relationship with one another is cracks me up. Eli and Hudson are best buds and will do everything together. Hudson and Maggie have a love hate relationship, where Hudson will play with her all the while plotting a way to teaser her just enough to make her scream. Maggie will follow Hudson around, want to lay in his bed and be right next to him all day but also teases him. Eli just loves the girls and will help them with anything they need. Betsy just steals all our hearts and we drop whatever we're doing for her. Except Maggie who hoards her toys from the slobbery Betsy fingers, we're working on sharing with Mag Pie. Its going to be fun to watch what happens this summer.  

I found this picture of Betsy and it made me laugh. Everyone says she looks like Robb, I just don't see it. Haha

Thursday, May 2, 2013

Two Weeks Notice

Have you ever had those days where, as a mom, you wish you could give your two weeks notice? Today could have been one of those days.

 I wake up LATE! Oh, starts in 20 minutes. A wave of relief as I see both boys, up, eating breakfas,t that Eli made (in front of the TV, in two little cup, on top of a towel, as not to spill). We all get dressed, I make lunches, get afternoon snacks, and we're ready to head to school. But wait, Maggie has just woken up, naked, a common thing as she sleeps in her undies. Get her dressed, fast and get on the bikes. My bike is flat! Never mind, load up in the car. Luckily we live next to the school and we make in enough time, to kiss the boys and watch them walk into school.

I make Maggie breakfast and grab a banana for me as I rush to put make up on and do my hair. In a half hour I have to be back at school to help in Hudson's class. Wake up Robb and Betsy and kiss them good bye as I go to the school again. It's only 8:30 and I'm ready to go back to bed. I get home Robb heads to the gym. I play Princessess with Maggie, feed Betsy. I have 1 hour before I need to pick up Hudson so I do some laundry, pick up the floor and make a real breakfast... for me. Robb's not back with the car and Maggie wants to walk, so we do. That always in tells getting Maggie redressed. Oh yeah I need to get Betsy dressed too. We make it to get Hudson just in time, cause we go Maggie's wondering pace. Once home I make PB&J in the shape of dinosaurs for Hudson and hearts for Maggie. Nap time for Betsy and read a book ( I'm not totally crazy, I know when to steal a moment here and there). Robb gets home sees me laying with Betsy and reading, he thinks I'm living the life. I get up spend some time talking with him while he watches Gold Rush or some Alaska airlines show as we dream of our life in Alaska that we once had. Hahaha.

Help Hudson do homework, play dolls with Maggie and do the dishes. Betsy wakes up and we play for a while with all the kids (minus Eli) laughing, as Betsy is still sleepy eyed. Robb gets ready for work and leaves right at 2:00 pm. About 10 minutes later Eli comes in all smiles with a hug and a kiss for me. The boys are off to play the wii and I relish in the free time I have while I play blocks with Betsy and Maggie and dolls again (did I mention how much I loath playing dolls, I would so much rather play cars, dinosaurs or even power rangers). I help the boys make snacks and realize I didn't get lunch and just eat snacks with them, apples and cheese, mmmm. I notice we have to leave in 30 minutes to get to baseball games. We get ready!

Oh crap, I forgot to change the laundry. Eli's baseball pants are wet in the washing machine. I throw those in the dryer and we not only get ready for baseball but also wrestling, that starts 15 minutes after baseball is suppose to end. We have shoes for both sports, a change of clothes, mitts, balls, water bottles, snacks for Maggie, toys for Betsy, umbrella, blanket and treats for the team. Yes, its my night for after game treats, hurray for me! Get Maggie dressed again, that's number 3, feed and change Betsy. Sorry Maggie no nap for you today. We're off right at 4:02, I checked. We get to the field and we're the only ones there. Why do I try and be on time when everyone is so late? It's the one thing of Robb's OCD that has rubbed off on me and then all my bad craziness has rubbed off on him haha, sucker! We get there unload and set up. Blanket umbrella, toys scattered all around in hopes Betsy will stay on the blanket and not eat the dirt. Alas we live in a wind tunnel and the umbrella is a no go. I move our blanket into some, apparently coveted shade, cause when I abandoned my blanket for 10 second some moms put there camping chairs right in front of me. Classy ladies, real classy. Don't you worry you pretty little heads, I'll just stand in the sahde the whole time holding Betsy so I can watch Eli be catcher.

The game is almost over with one inning left and we've only had to go to the potty twice, good job Maggie. Then my wonderful surprise of a husband shows up, holds my baby and gives me a brake for 10 minutes, just enough time so I can watch the game in peace with Maggie in my lap and then hand out treats to some really awesome baseball players. Robb helps we to the car, wondering how we got so many kids and where they all came from. I laugh and smile. Give kisses all around and Robb's back to work and me too. I tell the boys to get their wrestling shoes on, change their clothes and eat their snacks. Its around the corner so we're only 10 minutes late but they haven't started yet. We go to the potty. I play games with Maggie as we watch the boys wrestle for an hour. Once in the car the boys ask the dreaded question... "whats for dinner?" ...I haven't even given it a thought. Hudson asks for cheeseburgers, Burger King it is. It's 7:18 as we finally pull in the garage, Yes i looked. Bed time in 40 minutes. We need baths done and Eli's homework.I'm kicking myself now for not making him do it earlier. Oops lets feed the dog. Now Betsy in the dog food, yuck. Jammies for the girls and they're out at 7:30ish, nope i didn't look. 2 down 2 to go. Boys showers done and homework done a bit late, with stories we're pusing 9:00 pm. They are finally all asleep snoring and all, its 9:34 pm, YES, I looked. I haven't really touched the house very much today and it's in need of some tender love and care. It will be there tomorrow so I'm not to worried.

Oh no, Maggie is awake and angry at being awake. Which in turn wakes up Betsy. What is Eli doing? and why is he walking into the laundry room? I follow him... "Eli don't pee there!" I guide him to the bathroom and walk him back to bed. Put Maggie in her bed and rock Betsy back to sleep. It's Now 11:15 (I looked).

Lets be honest, there are days I would love to give my two weeks notice, if it were not for the hugs, the kisses, the licks, the intricately drawn pictures and the many "I love you" from my kids, it might not be worth it. Today it hit me hard that my life is for them. I live to bring joy to their lives, whether it be taking them to baseball, wrestling or soccer, playing dolls or princesses, going for a walk or just rocking them back to sleep. I live for them. It's something we as mothers all know but what hit me hard was that I am in control of what goes on in their day. Today I could have made so many other choices. I could have not woken up and got them to school on time, could have cancelled my volunteer at the school, we could have skipped out on wrestling or just missed the baseball game and not taken treats.

Okay, yes there is a long list of things I could  have done better but today looking back, I think about what went right. It was a crazy day but I have to ask myself, did my kids feel loved today? Was there joy in their life? Do they know that they are a blessing in my life? With a smile on my face I can honestly say yes. For each one of them personally I believe they do.

To my mom I want to say thank you for taking me to softball, ballet, volleyball, youth activities, girls camps, and even to school. You taught me how to be a girl who loves sports and dance at the same time, to be dirty and tough, yet hold myself with grace. You taught me how to be confident in who I am and have self worth. You taught me the joy in serving others. You taught me to work hard for something I want and to never give up. You taught me the value of the gospel and having a relationship with my Father in Heaven. You taught me what a mother should be. How you raised 6 kids I will never know cause sometime I feel like I'm sinking with just 4. You are and will forever be my hero, the one who lived to bring joy to my childhood. I will never forget the sacrifice you have made for me to become the mother I am today.  I love you Mom!

It's now 11:44 pm. YES! I looked. Goodnight

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